Wolfe emulation

Today I take on the simple task of emulating the intricate and thoughtful sentences of one of the best writers of all time.


Frog

On more than one occasion in the summer I would sit late into the night in a wooden chair at a wooden desk on the wooden floors of my dining room, browsing the internet quietly. In front of me was a big window that looked out into the large backyard with a bush in the foreground. Behind me was the rest of my empty house, a reminder of both the divorce that had my mother and siblings in a condominium and the tumor that had my father in the hospital. These days, I was the only adult in the house. I was the only child in the house.

The internet is obviously a constant and lovely distraction, but behind the computer and through the window I sat in front of I made a real friend. Against the black backdrop of the backyard at night, a squishy green shape would suddenly splat against the glass. Green and nearly translucent, the frog would sit there defying gravity in silence and I would divert my attention away from the computer screen to observe a more natural beauty. Eventually, he would start slipping downward, which made me chuckle, but he would just hop up higher on the windowpane. For long periods of time, I would just sit there, watching the frog use his long ball-ended fingers to his advantage. He would just sit and occasionally re-adjust himself. Maybe he was watching me too.

Comparing my life through new and old Facebook photos

Here we go, experimental blog post.

Facebook and other social media is the central focus of our generation, like it (ha) or not. In many ways,  Facebook is a double edged sword. There are good things about it and bad things about it. On the one hand, it is an easy way to share and preserve memories. No matter how much Facebook tries to make me have an imaginary farm, poke other people (why?), or "Like for Jesus ignore if you want to go to hell;" it's really a website about photographs. Photographs are memories distilled into an image, and as much as people dislike it sometimes, Facebook is an almost unlimited vault of memories. On the other hand, Facebook is a huge reminder of how dumb you were 5 years ago, 1 year ago, a moth ago, last night, etc.

I'd like to analyze how my life has changed by comparing new and old facebook photos. Let's get really personal and really embarrassing.

(Disclaimer: formatting this was very difficult, so pardon the sometimes erratic placement of photos)

SUBJECT ONE: FAKE MUSTACHES

2008

2012

LEFT: Acting as a made-up reporter, Lawrence Flatts in a very silly and very poorly produced video series my friends and I made in high school entitled "Officer Jenkins."
RIGHT: Acting as James Lipton, host of "Inside the Actor's Studio," on the slightly better produced Ohio University sketch Comedy show "Friday's Live."

This is what gave me the idea to start this blog, because I only just realized how ridiculous it is that these photos exist four years apart from each other. The biggest similarity I would say is that I still look ridiculous in a fake mustache. The biggest difference is that on the right I am saying something that is (mostly) scripted, and on the left I am saying something that is (mostly) nonsense.

P.S. I cannot grow real facial hair in either of these pictures.

SUBJECT TWO: BEING FUNNY

2006 maybe? God only knows

2012

LEFT:Me trying to be funny
RIGHT: Me trying to be funny with a better haircut


I don't think I need to comment on the silliness of the photo on the left. What I would like to comment on is the number one reason why I would consider college to be one of the best times in my life. Here at Ohio University, I have so many mediums in which I can practice being funny. There is a responsive audience and a community of other comedians that help me change my bad material and improve my good material. You can't see it in the photo, but in the one on the right there are people listening. In the one on the left there is not an audience watching me sit in leaves.

SUBJECT THREE: RELATIONSHIPS

2009

2012

LEFT: Spanish video project with my high school on-and-off girlfriend
RIGHT: At a party with my current girlfriend

Now we're getting really personal, I will try to be objective. In high school, I had a pretty poor understanding of how a healthy relationship should work. I know I'm supposed to be acting in the picture on the left, but the face I'm making sums up my main high school relationship pretty well. There was not the proper give-and-take that a good relationship needs, and for the most part each of us acted pretty selfish. We were teenagers, and it was a learning experience. My relationship today has much better communication and is going well so far. Relationships are always something that we have to learn from no matter how they end up, and I think today I'm doing a better job of learning as I go.

SUBJECT FOUR: FAMILY

Taken around 1996, posted 9/7/2012

2010

LEFT: Sitting with my littlest sister right after she had been baptized.
RIGHT: Trying to be cool like my dad.

I'm happy to say that throughout all our difficulties, I have stayed very close with my family. Relationships between family are always interesting because they are strengthened and weakened through events that you experience together. Births, deaths, marriages, divorces, reunions, fights; these are all occurrences that a family enjoys or endures together. Even though the photo on the left was taken just at a time when I was starting to become much less religious, I was still there to see Ruby get baptized. I know it's weird to use the photo on the right as a "current" photo, but the date I posted it is important. I found that photo while looking through old pictures the day after my dad died last September. His passing was and still is one of the most difficult things I've ever experienced, but I still have my family to go through it with me. I like this photo in particular because I still try to emulate my dad all the time - he was one of the funniest people I have ever known, and whenever I'm trying to make people laugh I still think of him and how much his sense of humor inspired me.

SUBJECT FIVE: DAILY ACTIVITIES

2008

2013

LEFT: Wrestling match
RIGHT: Improv scene

Wrestling and improv are not as different as one might think. In both activities take extensive practice to improve. In wrestling, you are working against a stranger, while in improv you are working with your friends. In both activities I have made some of my best friends, and in both activities I have learned lessons of teamwork, endurance, and foreseeing moves that haven't happened yet. While wrestling was something I decided I didn't want to continue after high school, the way I am enjoying improv now I may be doing it for a long time, which is why I practice as much as possible to continually try and improv(e) myself. The biggest difference is the uniforms. The biggest similarity is that that are many instances in improv where I have to grope men.

Regarding my stand-up essay

I really appreciated everyone's notes on my latest essay, and I figured I would post this in case anyone was interested.

The set I wrote about, my very first set, is actually one of the few of me that are online. So if you'd like to see how it went through video instead of through words, you can check it out.

Diversity within music

I would consider myself someone who has decently varied taste in music. I try to find the good in all genres, and this kind of philosophy has led me to enjoy music I never thought I would be a fan of. I've got favorites in hip-hop, electronic, indie, and many others, but there is one band I will always say that is at the top of my list: Radiohead.

Many bands can easily be categorized, but because of Radiohead's musical ambition and extensive back catalog, they are one of the most dynamic bands of all time. You can go from album to album and hear the band growing and changing, and even within albums you hear songs that sound like they are from completely different worlds. They are the only "huge" band that doesn't worry about how a new sound might affect their extensive fanbase.

If you have time, listen to these two songs that were released only a year apart. The electronic beats and whirs of Idioteque vs. The drunk jazzy journey that is "Life in a Glass House" give you a small idea of how diverse this band can be.

Sketch Comedy

If anyone is interested, a few of my friends and I have started an online sketch comedy show and our first video is up. Enjoy!

Mmmmm babies

Being the oldest of four siblings, the smell of infants is one that I have become familiar with. Although I have not encountered it often in recent years (My youngest sister is almost eleven), I definitely still associate it with a sense of protectiveness and care for my brother and sisters. Infants have that kind of fresh scent that smells like laundry detergent mixed with spit.

Speaking of smells and growing up, here’s a clip from a show we all loved watching with my dad growing up.

Subliminal Touching

I really enjoyed the short section “Subliminal Touch” on page 122 of Ackerman’s book. She discusses various experiments where people become more affable to strangers because of insignificant touching. It seems to me that friendly touch is a very fast way to connect with people, and I think there is a definite correlation between how extroverted people are and how comfortable they are with touching people they aren't intimate with.